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extrapolate general touch principles

I’m not suggesting technique is irrelevant. If your partner wants a vulva massage, specific skills are involved and it will help if you know them. There are universally applicable skills—how to enter a woman’s vagina, for instance— and there is also person-specific expertise such as how this particular woman likes her labia to be caressed. There are many different ways to learn the first set of skills. You can take a workshop or find video guidance. You can extrapolate general touch principles from your partners’ collective responses and feedback. As for person-specific skills, that requires you to communicate with the person you’re touching. Learn about X4 labs at http://enlargement-world.blogspot.com/ and http://alphaguys.weebly.com/

You’ll only know how Joanne likes her labia to be touched if she tells you. Or, better yet, shows you. As a rule, showing is better than telling, and doing is better than merely seeing a technique demonstrated. I have two websites with over eighty hours of touch and erotic touch video instruction. Most of the demonstrations focus on technique. While I’ve come to believe that people don’t learn much from watching, it can provide a good start. You see what someone else is doing and then you replicate it in your own practice sessions. Ultimately you learn by doing, with guidance from others who are skillful. The Fine Art of Paying Attention It is the rare individual who is present all the time. Most us are present for a bit, then our mind wanders, and it either keeps wandering (from pillar to post to outpost and beyond) or we bring it home again. Distractions arise because they are something our hyperactive minds generate out of habit. Here’s what you can do when they come visiting: Notice the thought or feeling. This is probably the most difficult part— being self-aware enough to notice the distraction in the first place. Gently call your mind back to attention. Which, in this case, means being present to your intention and your touch. Be kind to yourself. Don’t make things worse (and distract yourself more) by chiding yourself. Thoughts and other distractions are inevitable. Let them be. Communication helps me to pay attention. When a partner guides or in any way comments on my touch, my attention becomes intensely focused. And my touch can help my partner to focus their attention. I have developed a series of mindful touch exercises that allow giver and receiver to communicate while going deeper into the experience. Vaginal Mapping is my favorite mindfulness practice. This is not a massage. With consent, the giver enters the receiver’s vagina and places one finger on the vaginal wall. The intention of the touch is to guide the woman’s placement of attention to this one spot on the vaginal wall. The woman chooses the pressure and duration of the touch while reporting what she is experiencing. The giver might suggest deeper or faster breathing or ask about the pressure. When the woman is finished with the meditation on that point, she guides the toucher to a new spot on the vaginal wall. These mapping sessions often evoke deep emotions, memories, colors, and epiphanies. One finger held on the vaginal wall might bring up enormous resistance to going further. This mapping can bring to awareness a lack of feeling (called sensory-motor amnesia). In an hour of mapping, most women focus on ten or fewer places on the vaginal wall. If individuals without vaginas are interested in this mindfulness experience, I recommend Anal Mapping. Learn more at http://lusharson8884.exteen.com/

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