Down With Pheromones

How do you react, what happens, when you believe in pheromone attraction?
I get anxious. I get nervous and worried about my future. I start to see images of my not being successful with women, and the nervous takes over my body and pressurizes me, and kills me. It feels stressful and painful to me, because I feel like I have to or need to do something differently than I’m doing it. I stress myself out over details. I feel inferior, I feel like I’m not good enough. I feel stressed and angry with myself, and feel like I can’t relate freely with life and with my human pheromones environment. I feel like I can’t open myself up to life. I feel pheromone attraction, and I feel a sinking feeling come into my body and wear me down. I feel angry and low. I treat women like objects, or like notches that I have to rack up and collect — and that feels very dehumanizing, very cheap, very wrong… it makes me guilty afterwards. Sometimes I hurt women by lying to them and then moving on to other girls right in front of them; at least once I’ve done this, and I felt very stressed out. I feel very stressed out and pressured when I’m out at clubs and so on and I believe the thought “I need to be successful with women” — it makes me feel inferior to other girls, it makes me feel like I’m wasting my time and my life, and I feel angry with myself. I feel like I’m a loser. I treat myself like I’m wrong, like I’m cheating myself of something. I treat women like commodities the point that my neediness becomes dictatorial — I want to control them, and dictate to them what they should do and how they should come into my life. This feels very stressful, and very angry, and very full of rage and hatred. I feel almost like I can’t live fully or freely, or like I can’t feel reality around me with real pheromones according to and
Describe the feelings that happen physically when you believe that thought. I get a clenched feeling in my chest, a sort of shrinking in. It’s a painful feeling. I get a sinking feeling of depression, like it’s pulling me down to pheromone attraction according to
Where and when did that thought first occur to you? I feel like it must’ve been when I was pretty young. I can remember being a little kid and relating to a little girl I liked. Either that or I can recall my father telling me something about how little girls should like me… hmm. Or maybe it was just when I felt my mother abandoned me (that’s a WHOLE ‘nother story there ripe for more work; quite possibly the beginning of my whole ‘becoming a player’ thing) and I felt like getting other women would help… yes, that might be it. It stressed me out to no end with real pheromones.
Who were you before that thought first occurred to you? I was enjoying my own company more. I was enjoying my mother’s company more and the company of other women in my life. I was just peaceful and happy. It was really sweet and intimate with myself and with them.